Grief not allowed to overshadow Pride

Stoney elder Tina Fox moved through the casino's flashing lights and games of chance with grim news about the passing of Argintina Hailey's grandfather.

The brief and heavy-hearted conversation between Fox and Hailey - her sister's grandson, who Fox considers her own grandson - had been minutes before Hailey was to perform live in front of a full house at Morley Pride.

Hailey, actually Cleavon Wildman, is a two-spirit drag queen, and was a featured performer in the Drag Diva Cabaret at the inaugural pride event on the Stoney Nakoda First Nation on Saturday (Aug. 27).

The historic evening at the Stoney Nakoda Resort and Casino's Chill Room was co-organized by Hailey, a Stoney member, and Chiniki Programs' Carla Pauls.

Earlier that day, Fox received a text message from her grandson expressing his excitement and unease about Morley Pride.

The show was already behind schedule, and extra tables and chairs were needed as more and more guests arrived at the Chill Room.

Hailey had never put on an event of this magnitude before and juggling an organizer role of setting up and selling tickets and a performer role of preparing for the show's spotlight, the day was “very overwhelming.”

Hailey was reassured that everything would be fine in a text from Fox - the first grandmother encouragement she received that day.

“There's a lot of emotions today,” Hailey said in an interview with the Outlook. “I have a lot of a sense of accomplishment and I am very emotional.”

When Hailey was dealt the heartfelt blow about her grandfather passing, she stood in full drag at the Chill Room's entrance that bordered the casino floor.

Show time was closing in, just a few minutes away when Hailey and Fox embraced.

Fox then encouraged her to continue with the show.

It was esteemed encouragement that gave Hailey the push needed to finish the dual duties until the end of the night.

“I'm proud of my grandson,” Fox said to the Outlook.

A two-spirit individual such as Hailey, in a sense, understands both male and female aspects of a human being.

In First Nation culture, one's sexuality is kept private and to reach a milestone such as openly celebrating the two-spirit community on First Nation land is a spring forward in acceptance.

“Some would say (Hailey) is pretty brave for doing this in our community,” said Fox. “In that sense, (Hailey) is a great leader for the (Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender Queer) community.”

Before colonization, two-spirit people were highly respected and revered as powerful leaders and medicine persons because “they have the spirit of men and women in their body,” said Fox.

“It'll take some time for all people to come to terms with it - we have to remind our community that back before contact we held (two-spirit people) in high esteem. We have to do some education in the community.

“I'm proud of the young gay men and women who are starting to be open in the community.”

Morley Pride began onstage with an opening prayer from Alice Kaquitts in traditional Stoney language and was followed by a brief speech from Banff-Cochrane MLA Cameron Westhead.

A feature musical performance from Morley's rockin' Girls Got Rhythm Band, and the night's MC, two-spirit comedian Dane Cunningham, got the ball rolling prior to introducing the high-heeled Hailey.

The sold out Morley Pride was a “big success” and a “very humbling” night for Hailey, but also sad.

“I have a sense of pride and acceptance from the community. The speech that Alice did on behalf of my grandma Tina, it touched my heart and I'm still very choked up about it.”

With the success of the first pride event on Stoney Nakoda, Hailey and Pauls want to continue it as an annual event. They might do smaller drag shows here and there to fundraise, said Hailey, to set up a larger scale pride event on the reserve.

“The amount of support we've gotten ... it's a whole new ball game,” Hailey said, smiling. “Now I know what to expect for next year.”