One of my responses to COVID-19 has been to assemble small groups of people for a series of gratitude conversations.
The simple daily assignment is to write five reasons to feel grateful, for a total of 28 days.
The reason – you will feel better.
The science – you can't be grateful and negative at the same time, according to author and gratitude researcher, Robert Emmons.
Why else? Gratitude improves your sleep, improves your energy levels and makes you more fun to be around. Emmons conducted a study twenty years ago that assigned one group of college students with tracking their gratitude and the other group were told to track their hassles.
What did he find? The students who tracked their gratitude felt better about their lives as a whole. They were more optimistic about the future, and they felt happier. What else? The gratitude group exercised 1.5 hours more per week than their hassled class mates.
The bottom line is that being intentionally grateful improves your health and energy – physical, emotional and social. I am getting more confident with the science, the longer I conduct my own case studies.
This week, a group of seven women and I are winding up our Grapes'n'Gratitudes series. After 28 days of gratitude journaling, with the number of COVID cases rising, with Alberta's State of Public Health Emergency compounding every family's apprehensions. Our group obviously abandoned our plan for a face-to-face social event. That was hard to do – but obviously we had no other responsible option.
Collectively, the group energy is precarious, but we are more self-aware and tilting in the direction of positive. Obviously, everyone also has permission to wobble as necessary, but being part of a group is always better than being alone.
While the future remains uncertain, my unequivocal finding is that gratitude is a good tool when looking in the mirror figuring out the right next step. Especially during a pandemic.
During the series, the emphasis is on "writing it down." Happy. Sad. Frustrated. Delighted. Enthusiastic or depleted. Keeping a journal helps us pay attention and it means that you are asking your ears, eyes, noses and minds to stay open.
Taking time to pay attention is the first skill of being grateful. A pen and a paper are the best and most widely accepted tools for making lists.
Obviously, making lists of what you are grateful for sound easy. It isn't. This is a lesson that every gratitude group has demonstrated – gratitude is there, but it takes effort to get past the curses, the disappointments, the hassles and insults that suck energy, time and attention.
Thinking about gratitude and our current state of emergency, I invented a mini-DIY pick-me-up which I encourage you to try in moments of frustration.
For the next week, keep a daily list of "things I am grateful for."
In addition, if there is an insult or angry moment clouding your sky, quickly tear off a strip of paper and write it down. "I am so mad that ABC [the cause] means I have to XYZ [the effect]."
Hassles. Villains. Consequences and paying attention. Keep writing your insults and stash them in an empty saltshaker. Place the shaker on the counter at home or at work, right beside the pepper.
At mealtime, shake your insults vigorously. Then give thanks.
If anyone asks, look them straight in the eye with a twinkle in your eye and say, "Oh this? It's my insults shaker. Cutting down on salt, you know."
If you are interested in joining an online gratitude series via Zoom, contact [email protected]. The maximum group size is eight. Ground rules are basic ABCs. Accept differences. Be kind. Count your blessings.
After working in a broad cross-section of Bow Valley initiatives, Lorraine Widmer-Carson now commits her time to writing, Gratitude Zooming, blogging and savouring nature in the company of her family, which happily includes two delightful granddaughters. She can be reached at www.lwcbanff.ca.
